i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
