apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
These tits shall not be calmed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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