The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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