I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
