I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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