garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
