Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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