with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
