Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
