I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
