I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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