You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
