and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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