Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
