Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
