Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I want you more than these girls want KFC
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize