i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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