hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize