i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
