wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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