I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
