Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
