i may or may not be watching the land before time
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
