It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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