he wants to bone in the snuggie
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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