I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
