Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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