is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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