He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize