the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
