sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
