Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
