hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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