I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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