I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
