I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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