It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
