I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
