Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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