I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
