I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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