Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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