My room smells like vodka and shame
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Two words: nipple clamps
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