Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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