So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
