We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
