Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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