I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
