I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
