accomplished twins. life is a go
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
