He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
