i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
