You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
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Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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