Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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