I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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