we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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