his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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