The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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